Tuesday, May 13, 2008
How this affects our whole family
Last night we were getting all of the boys in bed and when it came time for Lincoln to give Hewitt a kiss goodnight, he absolutely refused. He refused to the point he got in trouble for it! He and I had a discussion about the situation and it ended up being a great time where he opened up to me about how he's been feeling. It was relieving and heartbreaking all at the same time. He told me he didn't want to kiss Hewitt because he wasn't a "normal" brother. Becaue he has seizures. When he first said this I was so upset, felt so defensive of Hewitt, but God was near and calmed my heart a little bit. I let Lincoln talk. I don't think he quite knew how to describe how he felt about it. He knew he wasn't scared or embarassed. He kept saying he just didn't like Hewitt because he has seizures. I tried to explain to him how this is an unfair reason not to like someone. I gave him an example of him breaking his arm, and what if Everett didn't like him anymore because he had a broken arm....he saw my point. I could think of other reasons for him to not like Hewitt from a big brother perspective. Like that Hewitt hits him, takes his toys, breaks things, gives me a hard time (Lincoln is very protective of me) things like that. Pesky little brother things. But, just based on the seizures? So, we talked about how important it is that we love and protect one another in our family. Even our little brother who has seizures, ESPECIALLY our little brother who has seizures. We prayed that God would grow his heart with love for Hewitt. He also said he doesn't like it because he talks to him and he just stares off and doesn't answer him, and that he's just keeps thinking he's going to have another seizure. This really hit me hard. I think about that all the time but I had never stopped to think that Lincoln, at 6, would be worrying about another one coming. He's been here since day one though, seeing all of them. I am praying that God will use this in his heart. I was encouraged to see that he was stronger emotionally than I realized. I read today it is normal for siblings of kids with epilepsy to feel guilty for feeling the way they do. They see that their parents are stressed out and they don't want to give them anything else to worry about. I think I am going to look for a local support group or family with a similar situation. I think it would be good for him, and eventually Everett to talk to other kids about being a sibling dealing with this. I hope that it will build their character in a way it wouldn't have been strengthened otherwise.