Monday, June 16, 2008


It seems as though, just when I thought things bad, they got worse. This was such a hard week. I think, the hardest we've had since this began. His drops have been so frequent, it's hard to keep him safe. Friday, Hewitt was sitting, playing in the grass while the other boys rode bikes on our front sidewalk. He got up just for a moment and had a drop while standing in front of the concrete path. The only thing that caught him was his forehead on the cement. It was horrifying to watch. He had his helmet on and when he fell it made a loud crack sound and at that moment I didn't know if it was his helmet or his head and I freaked out. Hayden assured me it was his helmet. Saturday I took him into urgent care because I was still feeling uneasy about his head and while in the waiting room looking at the fishtank, his head dropped and he hit the other side of his forehead on the edge of the fishtank frame. Sunday, he dropped in the nursery on a wooden rocking chair and got another large bruise on his forehead. By the afternoon his right eye was beginning to turn into a black eye. This morning he dropped and hit himself right between the eyes and so now the bridge of his nose is swollen and the rims of his eyes are blue. It might sound like we're not keeping a close eye on him. But, these are just 1 of 50+ drops that he's having every day and we can't catch him for all of them. I would like to just keep him seated with a 5-point harness all day, but that doesn't seem very fun or fair. None of this is fair. I feel so helpless and frustrated with the whole process. I feel like I'm in an abusive relationship with someone that is hurting my child and there is nothing I can do to get out.


Rebecca said...

Colleen. Your hurt and your struggle is cutting right though to me. I love you, and while I understand how you can face this so bravely (even while you may feel that you aren't) because I know you honey, my heart is bleeding for you and your family. What a beautiful and precious son. And what a rollercoaster this must be.

The Fears said...

Ug I wish we had word to make it easier but instead I will lift you in prayer and give my words to the ONE who gives us strength to endure all things and loves us and carrys us when when we are to weak.
you are in our prayers